Stranger Magic: How Random Chats Changed My Life
Discover the top 3 lessons I learned from connecting with strangers.
Even Short Conversations Can Boost Your Mood
I love making small talk with strangers. Not the usual “Hi, how are you?” routine, but genuine, brief exchanges that leave you feeling less alone.
It might be something as simple as offering your seat to someone on public transit or striking up a chat with a person at a café when something catches your eye.
Research shows that engaging in light, casual conversations with acquaintances or strangers can foster a stronger sense of community and increase feelings of belonging.
Yes, there might be bad strangers in the world, but I believe in confirmation bias. If you expect people to be kind, you will notice kindness more.
Everyone Has a Story, Just Ask
I recently had a few encounters that reminded me how fascinating strangers can be.
The Man Who Painted Watercolors on Sundays
On a sunny Sunday, my friend and I passed an old man painting the scenery. I stopped, admiring his work, and asked if I could take a photo.
As we chatted, he said that many artists paint outdoors on Sundays across the city. He never went to art school, he just learned from his art teacher. It was a glimpse into a world I never knew existed.
The Man Who Traveled the World with Golf
I noticed a man playing golf on his phone at Guzman y Gomez. I asked if he played golf in real life, and he said that I was observant.
He shared stories of playing golf around the world and details about the scoring system. He also said that an injury forced him to quit golf, so he now does regular physio.
He became animated as the conversation continued. Four months later, I bumped into him again at the same restaurant, and we exchanged a knowing smile.
The Woman Rediscovering Herself After Motherhood
At a temple, I watched a Nanyin performance, a traditional music from southern Fujian. I spoke to the woman next to me, who had never heard it before. We ended up talking about the Chinese language and how she had moved from Shanghai 30 years ago.
Her children, now in banking, were off traveling again. For the first time in decades, she felt like she had a new life again—exploring, attending performances, and rediscovering herself. She mentioned this twice and her voice tinged with emotion.
It made me think: When your identity has revolved around others for so long, who are you when you’re finally on your own?
Strangers Today, Friends Tomorrow (If You Put in Effort)
I’ve always loved having a diverse social circle. In university, some people jokingly called me a BNOC (“big name on campus”), but it wasn’t about popularity.
I just loved meeting different people everywhere—classes, extracurriculars, friends of friends, flatmates.
Friendships don’t happen by accident. You have to:
Put yourself in places where you’ll meet like-minded people (hobbies, events, even online spaces).
Make the first move.
Follow up. Friendship grows through time and repeated interactions.
At the end of the day, we’re all just humans wanting connection. And the more open you are to those little moments of magic with strangers, the richer your life becomes.
Have you ever had a small conversation that made your day?
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You are right Melissa. Glad to hear your take. I used to hate small talk. But now I also go all out to say hi to strangers, they always seem to have something profound to share with us even in the brief time we get to discuss.
The other day I discovered that the lady who sat next to me at an event also shared older kids like I did while also having a young one as me, was from the same north east as me and so on.
It gets exciting to hear when there are syncs like this! We kept each other good company while waiting about an hour for the show to start!
It was as if we were friends since a long time, giggling about like little girls! Fun!